我在1999年认识张晓刚，那时他刚来北京。他看到我在东京录音棚里胡乱勾画的我的第三章专辑《追月》的封面设计草图，他对我说：你可以画画，我教你。在北京城的东北角儿一个“长满鲜花的地方”，在师傅张晓刚的临时画室里我开始学习绘画。那是我人生的一个特殊的时期，当时我切断了我周围所有和音乐有关的关系，我像海底的一粒沙，宁静而细致。我在画画中玩耍，我在师傅的画室里播放音乐。我画骷髅。我给骷髅起名字叫做：MR BONE。师傅问我为什么画骷髅，冷冰冰的，没有生命。我说，它是“爱”，如果心中没有爱，它就是一副骷髅。那时候师傅周围徒弟辈分的我的师哥们——马六明和陈文波都笑我：你过分地夸大了“爱”。

　　从2000年到2001年与师傅学习绘画的时间里，我开始潜心创作我的新专辑，我在内心里寻找自己的创作主题。2002年我在东京的涩谷，纽约的时代广场，香港的尖沙嘴码头，在北京长城拍摄了一个短片，在这几个城市我邀请到为我拍摄这组短片的人员全部是做电影导演或者电视导演的专业人员。在这个短片里，我邀请路人对着镜头说同样一句话：“I LOVE PANDA。”这个关于PANDA的短片是为了配合我的第五张个人创作专辑里面一个热爱环境、关注生态的环保主题，为此，我创作了一个卡通故事，在专辑里我朗诵这个故事，我请著名音乐家三宝为我创作了长达20多分钟的背景音乐，我自己当时没有意识到自己在流行音乐的创作上和表现手法上已经开始跨界。

　　早在1998年我创作了《MADE IN CHINA》的词曲，没想到这首歌给了我人生的改变和转折。1998年4月在美国洛杉矶，我制作完成了《MADE IN CHINA》整张音乐专辑。《MADE IN CHINA》是我对祖国的一份赤诚热爱，是我在外面的世界更客观地看待自己的祖国，是我在旅途中自我完成的爱国教育，我看到了自己身后的民族文化土壤给我的自信和勇气，在中西方文化比较下，使我能够发挥出独特和与众不同的地方。然而，在1998年末，在我的《MADE IN CHINA》出版前几天，这张专辑没能顺利出版。《MADEINCHINA》被有关部门的审查批准文件上批示：《MADE IN CHINA》词意晦涩难懂，用“中国制造”作为歌名有损中华民族尊严。当时，我没有借此炒作或者诉愿，我切断了所有我身边和音乐有关的关系，我甘愿做海里的一粒沙，我用行动来理解和接受现实里存在的误读和不理解。我想，那是我对祖国的“爱”。那是我命运的一部分，爱，是要付出代价。

　　多年之后，我发觉自己一直在用“爱”这个主题在创作。

　　绘画和音乐是两个不同的媒介，彼此又有很深的联系。目前，音乐已经不能完成我的表达，绘画给我带来自由。严格意义上讲，我的绘画语言是强调观念和视觉。我用自己的语言，用诚实大胆和想象力。我还用音乐去绘画，希望每幅作品都能传达出不同的情绪。

　　我没有想要成为艺术家，我只是一直在过着艺术家的生活。

　　我认为一个人的生活方式比做艺术还重要，我认为自己的生活方式比艺术本身更有意思，我的旅行，我做音乐以及绘画，是一个理想的实践过程，其中的困难和快乐自己品尝。我在两个长期居住的城市间往返——北京和纽约，我和它们之间的距离，在不同文化的交错中，我的作品相对清醒和独立。

　　2005年，我定居在纽约，在那里建立了我的画室。我画LOVE，用有序的排列和机械化的堆砌把LOVE字填满整个画面，我用很强烈和纯粹的色彩，用金色或者银色，用黑色或者白色，也有灰色。我还用鲜亮的粉色，那种粉色令人眩目刺眼，很不正常的粉色。那些都是LOVE的语言 。这里会因为颜色和质感的不同带来变化，我想要去影响别人的视觉，强迫你去思考与这个字的关系和LOVE带给你的感受。

　　我希望这个爱的主题可以延伸下去，LOVE可大可小，可以简单，也可以很复杂。有正面，有负面。有毁灭的力量，也有创造伟大奇迹的动力。我曾经开玩笑地说：“爱是生产力。”当然，我的作品——LOVE 不仅仅想表达男女之间的爱。这一点早已证明。

　　我将用“爱”去创造“爱”，因为没有“爱”能够代替“爱”。 LOVE，是我连绵不断的灵感源泉。

　　艾敬 2007年11月14日星期三

　　后续：

　　2008年快要过去了，没想到这一年有这么多的事情发生，我还记得去年的夏天，在纽约的画室里，画画的间隙时间里，我每天关注国内的新闻。祖国的消息是那么牵动着我的心，我很渴望融入——2008这场浩瀚的运动，为了迎接奥运出一份力。我抱着满腔的热忱回来，从我自己开始制作完成《我的2008》这首歌开始，一直到完成100幅倒计时作品，这期间我仿佛经历了过去十多年也比不上的历练，我看清人和事，也逐步在看清楚自己。雪灾，大地震，奥运，毒奶粉…..我仿佛被拽进了漩涡，或者说我心甘情愿地融进了这个漩涡，这里有正面和负面的力量，还有混淆不清的力量，吸舐着我，价值观和欲望，荣耀和虚荣似乎已经难以分辨。

　　我完成了自己的愿望，我的2008和所有人的2008 一样，悲喜交加，失望和失落，一切又归于平淡和平凡。2008 快要过去了，进入了秋冬的中国，我们需要反思，我们需要真实地面对，我们需要爱!

　　                                                 艾敬2008年10月4日星期六

　　I got to know Zhang Xiaogang in 1999, when he had just come to Beijing. After he saw the draft cover design for my third album “Chasing the Moon,” which I carelessly scratched in my recording studio in Tokyo, he said to me: “You can learn painting, I will teach you.” In “a place full of fresh flowers” at the northeastern corner of Beijing, I started to learn painting in the temporary studio of Master Zhang. It was a special period in my life. I secluded myself from all connections to music and remained quiet and meticulous like a grain of sand at the bottom of the sea. I amused myself painting, and played music in the studio. I painted a skeleton named “Mr. Bones.” My teacher asked why I had painted a skeleton, cold and lifeless. I replied that it was “love,” adding that if there was no love in its heart, than it was a skeleton. Ma Liuming, Chen Wenbo and other senior students of Master Zhang laughed at me, saying that I had exaggerated the meaning of the word “love.”

　　While I was learning painting from 2000 to 2001, I started to concentrate on the creation of my new album, searching my heart for new themes of creation. In 2002, I made a short film in Shibuya in Tokyo, Times Square in New York, Tsimshatsui in Hong Kong, and the Great Wall in Beijing. All the crew members I invited to shoot the footage in these cities were professional film or TV directors. In the short film, I invited passersby to say the same sentence: “I love pandas.” The short film on pandas was made to accompany the theme of environmental protection and ecological preservation that was in my fifth album. To that end, I created a cartoon, and recorded the story in my album. I invited San Bao, the famous musician, to compose the background music of up to 20 minutes for the album. I didn’t realize at the time that I had begun to make breakthroughs in the creation and expression of pop music.

　　When I composed the music and lyrics of "Made in China" in 1998 I never expected that the song would change my life. I completed the album in Los Angeles in April. This song was an expression of my true love for my motherland, a way to objectively look at my motherland from the outside world, and a patriotic self-education completed during my journey. I found my confidence and courage arising from my national cultural background, which enabled me, through a comparison of Eastern and Western cultures, to develop my own unique and different style. Unfortunately, the album had still not been approved several days before the scheduled release date in late 1998. The relevant department commented on "Made in China": ‘Both the music and lyrics of "Made in China" are too obscure, and it hurts the national dignity of the Chinese people to use "Made in China" as the name of the song.’ I didn’t make a fuss about the decision or try to protest it. I cut off all my relations with music, preferring to be a grain of sand at the bottom of the sea. I would understand and accept the misunderstanding and incomprehension with my action. I thought that it was my love for my motherland. It was just a part of my life; love has a price.

　　Many years later, I find that I have all along been using “love” as a theme to create.

　　Painting and music are two different media, but they're closely connected. Currently, music no longer satisfies my need to express myself, but painting gives me freedom. Strictly speaking, my painting language focuses on concepts and visual effects. I use my own language, my sincerity and bravery, as well as my imagination, to paint. I also use my music to paint, hoping that every painting can express a different emotion.

　　I never wanted to be an artist, but I have been leading an artist's life. I think that one's lifestyle is more important than artistic creation. My travels, musical creations and painting are steps taken in the realization of an ideal, in which I have savored both hardship and joy. I travel back and forth between the two places that I live--Beijing and New York. My work remains relatively clear and independent in the space and intersection between different cultures.

　　In 2005, I settled in New York and set up my studio there. I painted "Love" with the whole canvass covered with the word LOVE in mechanical rows. I used strong and pure colors, gold and silver, black and white, sometimes gray. I also used bright pink, which is glaring and abnormal. Those are all the language of love. Different colors and a sense of quality bring changes. I want to influence the visual perception of others, and force people to think about their relationship with letters and the feeling that love brings one.

　　I hope this concept of love can be extended. Love can be big or small, simple or complicated. It can be positive or negative. It has a destructive power and the power to create great wonder. I used to say in jest: “Love is a productive force”. Of course, my work "Love" does not only express the kind of love between a man and a woman. This has been clear for quite some time.

　　I will use Love to create Love, for no Love can replace Love. Love is my eternal source of inspiration.

　　                                                      Wednesday, November 14,2007