心灵的翅膀

在世俗的屋檐下

痛苦拍打

拖着

深秋苍苔上的露水

外面

不会有阳光照进来

我把泪水奉献给秋露

秋霜却染红我的眼睛

多少个夏日的夜晚和秋天的黄昏

我滞立在苦难的深渊

春草发了又枯枯了又荣

我的脚不能动

我的心不能飞

拔下羽毛做笔

泣出血泪为彩

从画布回到故乡

回到我怀念的一切地方

——题记

　　我最近的作品，一直把人性的自我释放作为绘画的主体。

　　快乐和幸福始终是人类追求的目标。然而很遗憾，到目前为止，人类似乎离这个目标越来越远。生活在大城市里的人们普遍感觉物质极大丰富了，而人类受到的限制却越来越多了。吃得好了，污染和转基因来了；住的好了，装修综合症和邻里冷漠症来了；行的好了，尾汽污染和道路拥挤、交通事故来了。交通的便利使世界变得越来越小，然而人与人之间的距离却并没有缩短，人们的交往并没有更加频繁。生活在同一座城市，亲戚朋友见面的机会反而少了。理由是：没时间、没心情。时间都到哪儿去了，心情又都用在何处了呢？其实每个人心中都有名称不一但实质相同的答案--忙着生存。

　　就像雅斯贝尔斯等西方的哲学家揭示的那样：生产力的高度发展，使人成了物质和金钱的奴隶；科技的巨大进步，使人成了机器和程序的附属；官僚社会的日益巩固，使人成了被权利编码的活的符号；文化的断裂和信仰的迷茫，使人丧失了灵魂赖以生存的精神家园。人们日复一日地生存在钢筋水泥浇铸的丛林，过着浮躁乏味的“两点一线”的生活，拥挤在嘈杂的街市中伴随着无尽的学习、工作、生活的压力。原本可以享受的蓝天白云清风明月在我们的视野里渐远渐逝，我们生活的环境就像一篇文章中看到的那样：“作为休闲活动的电视节目以及其他各种娱乐方式被无所不在的商业利益俘虏，可以寻求精神慰藉的艺术也成为消费主义下的快餐……传统集体价值观念式微，人们决然地和历史挥别，和自然决裂，和与自身之外的一切划清界限，伫立在自己营造的荒凉世界沾沾自喜……人们被淹没在平面化的图像和孤立的数字与符号中，不去追究内容和意义以及价值。在表面灯红酒绿、五光十色的掩盖下却是人类千疮百孔、空虚孤独的精神世界。”“虽然住进新盖的楼宇而灵魂却在户外淋雨，生命本身落入一种到处寻找家园的彷徨状态”。

　　在这个物质与技术、实用与利润主宰一切的时代里，我们生存的世界就是如此的冷暗、隔蔽。消费时代的浪潮将人们“热情”地卷入，给他们当下即得的快感；工业化、城市化的生存状态又将人以碎片的形式存放，让他们找不到精神的家园。人生是茫茫大海，人们被召集到“社会”这条大船上，在同样的时间醒来，同样的时间睡去，梦着同样的梦，痛着同样的痛，机械的程式设定了生命时间的每一个细节，灵魂不可思考，身体无力自由。人类陷入了精神的极度孤独之中，灵魂被流放到“世界的隔壁”。

　　“在一个没有了上帝的时刻，我们怎样去体验神圣？在这个世界如此地平的时候，我们如何才能上到高山？”这就是现代人的生存困境。但在物质生活极大丰富的今天，我们的精神幸福又该如何到达？

　　在我最近的绘画作品里，我试图用诙谐的画面去努力探寻生命的本真，着力表达现代人的精神困境，体现对人性的思考。最近几年由于工作与学习关系，使我常常独自开车往返于暗夜旅途。茫茫夜色往往使人倍感压抑与不安。每每看到远处的车灯总会欣喜，仿佛看到了希望。只有在这宁静的夜间旅途才会思考人生。也许暗夜才能使灵魂走出，暗夜更能体现生命的脆弱，暗夜更能使我们处于危险和不确定当中，所以我的画面更愿用幽深昏暗的背景，灰黑为主的色调来衬托气氛，用光感来表达希望。所以围绕着人物周围，总是有着明显的光感。明暗的变化让人感受到身外世界的无限延伸、无法预测。而身边的光感更像人物表演的舞台。画中人物和他所处的幽深昏暗、不可预知的外围环境有着冲突又和谐的双重关系。明暗交接的帷幕隔开了世界的喧嚣，心魂与肉身走出人山人海，敞开于这方舞台。卸去一切白日的化妆，无所顾忌地袒露身体与心灵，这里是他的舞台。画面中的禽与兽往往作为欲望的载体与他发生关系，或明朗或暧昧。我试图用这样的图式组合来体现对人性的思考与解读。

Staggering Forward in the Darkness of Night

Dai Zengjun

With painstaking flaps of the wings of heart,

I brave the filthiness of the world, with the autumn dews permeating in the air.

In a room where no sunlight shines into,

I dedicate my tear to the lovely autumn dew,

which, in turn, reddens my eyes.

At the night of summer and the dusk of autumn,

I stand by the brink of the abyss of misery and agony,

Witnessing the cyclic withering and sprouting of spring grasses,

with feet restrained and heart shackled.

I pluck out my feather to make pens

and shed blood tears to color the paintings.

The canvas for paintings stirred up my reminiscence about my hometown,

about all the places that carry me away.

--Signature

　　As for the latest works, I always make self-release of human beings as the theme.

　　Happiness and joy are the permanent pursuit of mankind, whereas it is a pity that thus far we are detaching farther from it. Living in metropolis, we are experiencing rich material life, yet facing with more and more restrictions: with better diet, we are facing contamination and genetically modified food; with better accommodation, we are suffering from decorating syndrome and cold neighborhood; and with better transportation, we are enduring emission pollution, traffic congestion and accidents. Convenient transportation shortens our physical distances, but not the one between our minds. Our communication doesn't become more frequent, instead, it becomes even less for those who are ling in the same city with their relatives, their reason is, time and state of mind. Where on earth did we spend our time and break our mood? In fact, everyone has the same answer which might got different names, that is, we are busying living.

　　Just as some western philosophers such as Jaspers have revealed that: the highly development of productivity has made human beings the slave of material and money; huge advances in technology have made human beings subsidiary of machine and programs; consolidation of bureaucratic society has made human beings living symbols encoded by privilege.; and we have lost the spiritual home due to cultural fault and faith confusion. Day after day, with great pressures brought out by learning, working and living, we are now surviving in the concrete jungle, living a colorless strip life, and squeezing in the crowded streets. All those we could have enjoyed, the blue sky, white cloud, fresh wind and silver moon, have gone. Our living environment is just like what described in a book I've read:"leisure activities such as TV shows and other ones are being captivated by the pervading commercial benefit. Art, in which you could seek spiritual solace, also becomes fast-food in consumerism…Traditional collective values are declining, we wave goodbye resolutely to the past, to the nature, and to everything other than ourselves, and being complacent in this wild life created by ourselves…We are drowning in the flat images and isolating symbols and numbers without seeking its content, value and even meaning. Under the flashy and whirling cover, there is our spiritual world, hollow and sufficiently damaged.""we are living in the newly-built skyscrapers whereas our souls are out there in the rain, life itself is sinking into a hesitant state of finding its belonging."

　　In such a world where material, technology, pragmatism and benefit dominate everything, the world itself is thus cold and isolate. The tide of consumption period "fervently" drags us in, giving us a pleasant sensation of prompt gaining; on the contrary, the states of being industrialized and urbanized tear us apart, preventing us from finding the spiritual home. Life is just like the bondless sea, and our human beings rallying around on the boat of "society". We wake up at the same time, fall asleep at the same time, we dream the same dream, we suffer the same pain. With mechanically performed procedures setting every single detail of our lives, our souls are shackled to contemplate, so do our bodies. Our spirits fall into extreme isolation, and our souls are being exiled to "the neighbor of this world".

　　"How could we experience divine at a moment when there is no God? How could we climb up to the mountains in a world where there is all flat? "That is our dilemma: how to express our spiritual happiness nowadays where our material life is greatly enriched?

　　In my latest paintings, I try to explore the essence of life through witty layouts, to express our spiritual dilemma and to embody my thinking towards human nature. Due to recent years' works and studies, I often drive along during the night. The vast darkness of the night always suppressed me and makes me uneasy. Each time I saw a car light coming afar, I would be overwhelmed by joy, as if seeing a sparkle of hope. Only in this tranquil night trip could I really contemplate my life. Maybe only during the night could our souls have the chance to be free and it is also during the night that we could better find the weakness of life because it surrounds us with danger and uncertainty. And that is why I prefer to use gloomy background in my paintings, also to bring out the atmosphere by using gray-black tones and strong sense of light to express hope. That is the reason why there is always strong sense of light around the character. The change of image shading made the viewer more aware of the unlimited extension and unprediction. Meanwhile, the sense of light around is like a stage. There exists the dual relationship between the character himself and the dark, unpredictable surroundings: conflict while harmonious. The change between light and shadow reveals the clamor. Stepping out of the crowds, our physical existence as well as the soul is showing on the stage, taken away every disguise. The birds and beasts in the painting are symbols of desire, and they have connection with the character, whether obvious or ambiguous. And it is through such layout that I want to embody my reflection and interpretation towards humanity.

作者：戴增钧