我看见老韩时，这个冒牌的宋庄人正顶着一堆大白菜练功，说是练功，无非压压小肠气，弄弄二指禅，或者整一小刀飞蛾赴火什么的。

　　——和金刚铁布衫差多了。也有比它厉害的，比如老韩的纯粹、纯净、纯朴，或者纯爷们。在我看来，已经和坐禅差不多。历子不赞成。他说应该是坐“蚕”——坐得“春蚕无处不飞花。”不管怎么说，这在宋庄已经绝无仅有。一个顶着大白菜捣腾出上乘功夫本身已风声鹤唳，如果坐了禅，更风生水起，牛逼朝天——瞧，这话说的，那是“牛皮”不是“牛逼”。历子一如既往纠正我的说词，“庄上人都晓得牛皮是种性韧的抗生物——老韩不吹牛，但是耐磨，耐寒，耐劳，耐风湿性关节炎。”

　　这，个，几，乎，是，金，刚，葫，芦，娃，了。

　　还是有点矛盾。不过他的大白菜却始终摆弄似出水芙蓉，七米外吹一口气，卷开的菜叶立马羞答答熬成青涩的蘑菇汁。我开始怀疑是剧毒，三步之内，见色封喉——其实本来如此，让人怜惜与鲜美的，都可能藏着剧毒，比如妲己、欧阳峰、罂粟、河豚，再比如，老，韩。韩，旭，成。

　　——哈，那就是老毒物。然后我们又说，老韩根本好功夫！

　　那年我和历子在宋庄那座青砖獠牙的大房子住了几天。每天一早，老韩就拉我们喂水喂菜喂他家后院子，喂到一半，迷迷幻幻的景像漏进来，你晕眩于一大团粉白脂红的肠壁里，明明知了开始吞咽你的身子，却寻不着出处，欢喜十足，到底，虚脱成这个冒牌的宋庄人肠壁中粉红色的沾液物，一点点溃烂成水——黄帝内经上说，甲状腺亢进，却勃勃生机。

　　这是真功夫——毁人于无形之中，仅仅使了一瓢溃烂的白菜皮。

　　庄上传说，老韩灌的不是小肠气，而是七步迷魂香。宋庄百晓生兵器谱排行第七，只输给马燕铃家妖怪的卫生洁具。

　　2012-3-11

Seven-Step Fascinate Fragrance

　　When I saw Han, a so-called Song Village native, he was practicing Kung Fu with some cabbages on his head. In fact, for Han, practicing Kung Fu either means coping with his hernia, or doing two finger zen.

　　Han’s purity, simplicity, and masculinity are a combination of skills that iron skin, a high achievement in Kung Fu, does not even compare. No one in Song Village can sit in meditation like Han. To accomplish Han’s status in Kung Fu, especially considering that he practices with cabbages on his head, is beyond imagination. Adding on his ability to meditate, in Chinese term, Han is really NIU BI. Li Zi suggests that maybe NIU PI (cow leather) would be a more appropriate term to describe Han. “Everyone in the village knows how tenacious NIU PI is. Han does not boast, but his endurance for cold, labor, and rheumatic arthritis is remarkable.” Han is pretty much like King Kong Cucurbit Boys.

　　Han practices with cabbages that are like lotus flowers rise from under the water. A blow from seven meters away, the cabbage leaves turn into mushroom-like liquid. I suspect that the cabbages are poisoned, in the same way that a man is killed within three steps. Appealing appearance is usually associated with high toxicity. Some examples include Da Ji, Ouyang Feng, opium poppy, puffer, and, of course, Han Xucheng.

　　Han is an old toxic human being. Han is incredibly skilled.

　　That year, Li Zi and I lived in the black brick house in Song Village with Han. Han would lead us to water the cabbages in his back yard. We would start hallucinating during watering. It felt like something was chewing up my body, bringing great satisfaction, rotting me into a pool of water. The sensation was described as “activeness in hyperthyroidism” in Inner Canon of Huangdi.

　　Equipped with real skills, Han can destroy you with a cabbage leaf.

　　An anecdote in Song Village says that Han uses seven-step fascinate fragrance, rather than hernia. The seven-step fascinate fragrance rank seventh in Song Village among all the weapons. It is only beaten by the sanitaryware in Ma Yanling’s home.

March 11th, 2012

作者：陈没落