在西藏的时候，那天，我们从拉萨，纳木错到了林芝，一行人从高原的反应中突然醒了过来，林芝很美，海拔也低了很多，接受了高原考验的人此时有一种喜悦说不出来。但是大家还是围在一个石锅鸡的餐桌上喝酒，祝愿，感慨，说了很多心里话，轮到我说的时候，不知怎么的，从我的嘴里冒出了“西藏是一个可以量心的地方”很多人都以为是“良心”，都说说不通，反问我什么良心的地方，我说是测量的量，量心的地方。他们都吐了一口气，大家都不说话了，有人说好，有人说深刻，好和深刻，我都没有想。在西藏这么多天，每时每刻，内心都受到一种莫名的冲撞，景色，藏民，酥油的味道，磕长头，跪拜，念经，转经筒，看云，追山，捡石头，头疼，没力气，想跑，喘不开气，晕，每一项都会奔着你的内心去，你不得不做出反映，越往深处走，越忘记了自己身在何处，没有电话，没有短信，你会真觉得你不知道在什么地方，是这个美丽又残酷的事件，一个微不足道的颗粒，你只能感觉到心还在，是活的。但是它属于谁你不知道，是属于上天，属于自然，属于艺术，还是属于每一个人，全然不知。西藏有魅力，就在于你，当你想思考的时候，高原反应会让你终止思考，当你想兴奋的时候，它不给氧气，你只能重重的，木木的，呆在那里。

　　回到内地，就算回到了人间，可以正常的呼吸，过和从前一样的生活，俗事烦事每天照旧，也才更知道心的分量，这个分量在西藏可以感觉到，在人间感觉不到，如果能感觉到的，就是沉重和喘不开气，比高原还闷。

　　一直想提笔写西藏，但没有一天安宁的心绪，其实都不是多大的事情，相比在西藏的日子，真是不在一个界，想象一下那些无聊的讨论，叙述，讲解，画圈，展望，和虚伪，没有诚信，占用我的时间，吞噬我的灵魂，有的像毒素会进入到我的身体，让我看到生活的负面和累赘。

　　这些累赘多了真是很累的，还好，我在做艺术，这些看似累赘，和痛苦的经历，反而会成为做艺术的经历和营养。那如果我不做艺术呢?那那些不做艺术的人，不需要累赘和痛苦的人，他们是如何消化这些耿耿于怀的不快，痛苦和经历的呢？这个时候一个电话进来了，突然打断我的思绪，今晚真的很难得安静，静的已经可以听到电流的声音，电脑的呼吸，心情不好的时候，觉得电脑也在叹息。

　　人在特别安静的时候，电话的铃声像手术刀，在你眼前晃来晃去，不知道那个刀是想割心还是要剜肉，还是只是比划一下。夜晚的电话，多半没有太大的事，都是因为孤独，因为无聊，想找个人胡乱说说话。有的时候那些话，简直不知从哪传出来的，有的时候就是笑声。夜里面从电话机里听笑声，觉得那不是笑，是心里面说我有什么可笑的事情呢?

　　其实笑声就是笑声。只是夜里面听得不一样。手术刀没了。

　　屋里又恢复了安静，奇特的安静。但愿今晚不要再看见老虎钳子在你面前晃来晃去，有的铃声在晚上看来就像是老虎钳子。

　　因为铃声，把我的思绪，从西藏拖走，我的眼前开始浮现大昭寺的那一夜，我把请来的佛像，尊敬的放在了属于他的地方。门口很多人还在磕长头，看那样子，他们一夜都不会走，我站在那，默默的许愿，更多的是被他们感染。在雪域高原，那些人在用命做功课。

　　没想到，写着写着写重了，在西藏我其实很开心，那种阳光灿烂，是和我们想象的阳光灿烂不一样的灿烂，会照到你的心坎，天蓝的又深又远。

　　西藏是我再一次远行的开始，去了西藏，我才知道该去更远的地方了……

　　Measuring Heart

　　One day among we in Tibet, we from Lhasa to Nam Lake and arrived in Nyingchi. Our party were waked up from altitude stress. Nyingchi is beautiful, also altitude is much lower. It is an indescribable joy for the man who had experienced the plateau test at that moment. We said a lot of truth about wishes and sentiments with drinking around the table which the stone chicken on. It’s my turn, I don’t know how but my mouth flashed "Tibet is the place that can measure". A lot of people thought it was "conscience", it does not make sense, ask me what is the place of conscience?, I said it’s liang of celiang, the place can measure the heart. They all sighed and remained silent. I didn’t care what they said it’s great、deep and profound or great、deep and profound. These days in Tibet, my heart had been surffering the collision every minute and moment. Each of the scenery, the Tibetan, the taste of butter, long kowtow, and kneel, to chant buddhist scripture, prayer wheel, watching the clouds, run after mountain, pick up the stone, have a headache, and feel weak, want to run away, breathing impeded, and dizzy would rush to your heart, you had to react. The deeper you go, the much easier you forget where you are, without calling and message, you did not know where you are, This is an beautiful and cruel event, a tiny particles, you can feel your heart is still there, is living. But you did not even know who it belongs to, heaven、nature、art or everyone. Tibet charm lies in Plateau response will terminate your thinking when you want to. it does not give oxygen when you want to excited, you can only stand there heavyly numbly and apage.

　　Back to the mainland, as if returned to earth, I can breath normally and have the same life that trifles bothered every day as before, just also know more about the weight of my heart, I can feel its weight in Tibet, but can’t in this world, Only feel it is heavy, breathing impeded and more annoyed than plateau.

　　Always wanted to write about Tibet, but don't have a peaceful mood day, in fact it doesn’t matter, compared with the days in Tibet, it is not a same world competely, think about those boring discussion, the narrative, the explanation, round, outlook, and hypocrisy, it is faithless, waste my time, and eat my soul, some penetrated into my body as resembles a toxin, show me the negative and burdensome of life.

　　These burdensome much is really makes me very tired, but I'm studying my art, these seemingly burdensome and the miserable experience will become the experience and nutrition of study art. But if I don't do, how about those who don't study art and don’t need burdensome and pain to digest this much unhappy, pains and experiences? At this moment a call interrupted my thoughts suddenly, It is really so rarely quiet tonight that I can hear the voice of the currents and the computer breathing, felt the computer also sigh when I was unhappy.

　　Phone ring resembles a scalpel in front of you while people is quiet , don't know the knife is to cut heart or meat, or just practise. The night phone is not serious mostly, only for loneliness, boring, and looking for someone to talk at random. Sometimes I don't know where the words from, or laughter. Listen to the laughter through telephone at night, in my opinion it is not only a smile, but also a ridiculous thing from heart.

　　Laughter is actually laughter. Just sounds differently at night. A scalpel was lost.

　　The house returns to quiet, quiet strangely. I wish tonight wouldn’t see the tiger pliers in front of me, and any of the bell sounds like pliers at night.

　　The ringing bell interrupted my thoughts about Tibet, the night in the jokhang temple reappeared in my eyes, I put the Buddha in the place where he belongs to respectly. A large amount of people were still making the long kowtow, look at the way, they wouldn't go tonight, and I stood there, prayed silently, for the influence of them. It costed their lives to do that on the snow-capped plateau.

　　Unexpectedly, I wrote this for twice, I was very happy in Tibet. The sunshine of there is bright, is different bright from the sunshine in our mind, it can across your heart. The blue sky is farther and deeper.

　　Tibet is the beginning of a new travel, I already know somewhere farther I should reach after I been to Tibet......

作者：秦蓁