我同许多人一样，从小就接受着诸如“树立远大理想”、“实现自我价值”、“奋斗改变命运”这样一些人生格言的教导。怀着对未来的种种美妙幻想，一直脚踏实地为之奋斗，不曾有半点松懈。坚信付出应有回报。

　　其实这些所谓的“理想”与“价值”推崇的无非是一条追求成功，满足“自我”的人生道路。

　　如今一路走来，自己已是遍体鳞伤，停下脚步，环顾四周，看到自己曾为之拼搏奋斗的“幸福”，有些人生而既有，也有些人仍在执着追求，直到生命的尽头都不能如愿以偿，还有一些被命运眷顾的幸运儿，千辛万苦终于得到了他们梦寐以求的东西，不想却早已失去了自己的本来面目，永远告别了内心的平静与安宁，并无怨无悔地认为这就是人生的真正意义所在，且现身说法，教导下一代，鄙视失败者，然后继续前行进取，却不知当死亡不期而至时，会毫不留情地夺走他奋斗一生所换来的一切，也许至死都不会明白，他的所谓“成功”并非奋斗使然，他所宣说的道理不仅毒害了别人，也毒害了自己，更没有因实现了理想而幸福。

　　人们由于长期被纷繁变化的现象所迷惑，总是习惯性的不断缅怀过去，规划未来，很难放下所有的希望与恐惧，安住于当下，用智慧之眼洞察事物的本质。于是便努力地摆脱不喜欢的事物，抓取喜欢的事物。因此不自觉地把自己投入到无尽的痛苦折磨之中，仿如飞蛾扑火一般。很少有人清楚，努力避免痛苦的过程正是在不断增加着自己的痛苦，人们被一个又一个幻想驱使，不停地奔波。一些人在被误导的价值观引领下，把无常当作永恒、把痛苦当作快乐，不惜生命与外界争斗，即便得到了短暂的利益，但纵观其轨迹，只不过是一连串的喜悲交替罢了。

　　大千世界形形色色，多少出身卑微之人变成了众人仰慕的偶像，又有多少达官显贵瞬间沦为遭人唾弃的阶下囚，凡此种种周而复始，前赴后继，却不知都将终归尘土，随风而逝。世事无常，世事艰辛。不禁感叹自己也身在其中!

　　人们总是依着逻辑关联来判断未来事物，因此奋斗与理想总是背道而驰。

　　其实，盲动的力量是有限的，很难抗拒业已成熟的世间外力，人们往往赞颂松柏的挺拔与伟岸，并将高尚的人格尊严与之相比喻，却很少有人想象，如果把它们栽到山崖石缝之中，为了生存，它们也不得不逆来顺受，委屈求全，形容猥亵。否则等待它们的就是死亡，然而死亡是谁都不愿面对的，也许这就是生存的压力与生命的尊严相遭遇时的通常结果。

　　人类的历史在我看来就是无数个生命体不断挣扎而构成的一幅悲欣交集的长卷。我从没听说过不死的树，也未听说过不死的人，但在他们相对短暂的生命中，都不得不忍受着不同程度的，相对漫长的痛苦，也许就是为了换取些象泡沫般转瞬即灭的笑容，因为人的本性从未因社会的发展，物质的丰富而改变。

　　我常常为此而心情沉重!因此，对于生命的重视远远超过了我对艺术的热爱。曾几何时，在我心中艺术高于一切，多少年过去了，如今看来那只是一种年少时的无知。

　　在一个人独处的时候，经常感到无奈与自责，然而自己只是一名轮回世间的凡夫俗子，已经虚度了三十三年的时光，既没有获得给人们带来真正快乐与幸福的能力，也发不出巨人的声音，也许此生只能用一些微不足道的雕虫小技来慰藉一下可怜的生灵，假若我的作品能给观者一点小小的启发，那我也就满足了。

　　2005年12月于北京

　　Helpless

　　Cai Zhisong

　　Like most people, I was constantly admonished to "establish far-reaching ambitions", "realize my self value" and "struggle to change my destiny" since I was a child. Full of fantasies about the future, I tirelessly strived for these goals. I had faith that all of my efforts would be rewarded one day.

　　It turns out that what these so-called "ideals" and "values" really advocated was nothing more than the lifelong pursuit of success and self-gratification.

　　Having struggled on this path for many years, in retrospect, Myself became bruised and scarred. So I stopped and started to look around. I saw that the "fortune" that I was working so hard for, was a given for some people when they were born. But for some others, it was a goal which remained unattainable until the time they left this world with a bitter regret even if they tried everything they could. There were others who had been kissed by Mother Fortune, and eventually saw their dreams come true, but they lost their own identity in the process and never lived in peace again. However, they were not regretful and believed that this was the significance of life. They were the successful examples for the future generations. They despised the losers and hurriedly resumed their journey, without realizing that when death arrives unexpectedly, it will take everything away without any mercy. They might never understand that their "success" had nothing to do with their "struggles", but their promoting of the misconception would poison others beside themselves.

　　People are often confused by the ever-changing phenomenon, lost in the memories of the past and the planning for the future. They are not able to put away their hopes and fears, and settle down in the present, observing the nature of being with an eye of wisdom. So they try to get rid of things they do not like and grasp the things they are longing for. They jump into the abyss of pain without knowing it, as moths to the flame. Few people can realize that the process of avoiding pain causes more pain. Driven by fantasies, they are labouring and pursuing faulty values. They mistake instantaneousness for eternity; pain for joy, constantly fighting with the outside world, sometimes even at the price of their lives. They may obtain temporary benefits, but the course of their life is no more than a series of comedies and tragedies.

　　In this fast changing world, many people have grown from their humble origins to become public idols; many people in the high-ranking class have suddenly become prisoners. This is an endless circle, but people keep following the footsteps of others, without knowing that at the end everything will turn into dust and be lost in a gust of wind. Things which happen in life are unpredictable and difficult. Like others, I have to deal with them on a daily basis.

　　The strength of blind action is very limited and too weak to fight with the external power of society. People often praise pines and cypresses for their being tall and straight, and use them as the metaphors for dignity and incorruptibility. But if we plant them into the cracks on the cliff, they will be deformed and twisted in order to survive, or they will die. No one likes to face death. This is the common outcome when dignity conflicts with the need to survive.

　　In my eyes, human history is a series of paintings of uncountable individuals struggling for life, sadness alternating with joy. I have never heard of immortal trees or immortal humans, but in their short lives, both have to endure different degrees of pain for relatively long periods of time. That might be the exchanging of smiles, which are as fragile as soap bubbles and disappear in the blink of an eye, because human nature has never been changed by the development of society or the improvement of economic status.

　　My heart is frequently burdened when I think of this! It is the reason that my care for life is far beyond my love for art. In a certain period of my life, I thought art was more important than anything else in the world. Many years have passed since then. Today, to me, it was only the ignorance of a youth.

　　When I am alone, I often feel helpless and guilty: I have already wasted 33 years of my life, but I have never been able to bring happiness and joy to people, nor speaking out with a giant’s voice. I am just an ordinary being in the process of samsara. If I could use my meaningless skills to comfort the souls in pain or to inspire the viewers, I will be very satisfied.

　　Beijing, 15th December 2005