我看画册总习惯进行一些筛选。以为这样可以区分出哪些是我需要的，哪些是没有用的，结果我发现我经常处于想把问题弄清楚却又弄不清楚这样一种境遇，这样一种矛盾状态，常坐在画布前感到一阵茫然，脑子里老是翻来复去、拿不定主意，面对充耳目濡的各种艺术观念，各种杂志上刊登的潮流艺术，常常不知道应该选择什么?需要什么?不知道自己在哪里，似乎该干的活都已被别人干完了，而我又能干点什么呢?充满着无数的无奈，又怕在四处寻寻觅觅的同时迷失了自己，这些年我也为参加如竞赛式的展览而画些“主题创作”，但却又象找不到一条可以延续的线，心底沉积的那一种东西还没有寻来。不过，在这种反来复去的状态中却渐惭发现了什么才是自已真正需要的东西。

　　第一次见到大海是在读美院时去海南岛“下乡”，大海给我的感觉是那么具有生命力让人面对大海立刻产生冲动，就象毫不隐晦地面对女人，当时所有人不约而同地都脱光了，全裸着奔跑过去，那情景许多年后仍时常想起。

　　这使我明白在艺术家那里，只有发自内心的向往，才能唤起不竭的创造力，才能转换为作品中真挚的感情，因为绘画远不是一部形式风格语言的演变史，在其背后隐藏着非常丰富的情感思想，生命内涵。我喜欢自然界中一切充满生机的事，它令我激动。找寻青春，感悟欢乐，表现对青春的热爱，对生命的珍视，才是我一直以来要找的东西，我似乎希望将青春的活力溶化进自己的画里，从笔触间流淌出来，让人感受。于是，我进行了这方面的努力和尝试，并打算按照这样的想法画下去，再将语言弄得清晰一点，纯粹一点。就象在菜场买回许多的菜，要做一顿大餐，做的好坏则要看你的烹调技术掌握得如何了，有无独到之处了。

　　把菜弄好和把画画好一直是我想的事。

Pursue the Youth or Others

Zhang Wei

　　When appreciating the picture albums,I am accustomed to doing some sifting.In this way, I can pick up something necessary for me, and unnecessary.As a consequence,I find myself in the condition that always try to figure out some problems but fail to do it.It is a contradictory situation.I always sit in front of the canvas with confusion at the absence of certain ideas .Confronted with all sorts of familiar art concepts and fashion arts in various magazines,I usually cannot make a determination .What to choose?What to need ?I do not know where my position is.It seems that others have painted what ought to be drawn,and what can I paint?Full of lots of resignation,and I am afraid of losing myself around the exploration.During those years,I have participated some competition exhibitions to paint some theme creations, but I cannot seek a certain painting style,which is an inner precipitation.After such repeated process, I gradually seek what I truly need.

　　It was the first time for me to see the sea,when I studied in the college for going down to the country in Hainan.The feeling of sea for me was its vigor, which aroused my erotic impulse for the sea as facing women without implication.At that time everyone took off all the clothes spontaneously to run towards the sea, whose scene still remind my mind after many years

　　It enables me to understand only the internal yearning that could arouse the inexhaustible power for creation,and turn it into sincere emotion for works.Because painting is far more than an evolution history with various language styles,full of abundant emotions and thoughts behind it with life implication.I enjoy all the vigorous things in the nature,which amaze me.Looking for the youth,digesting the pleasure,and showing the passion for the youth,all that are what I always seek.I seem to melt the young vitality into my paints flowing from my brush ,and enable others to feel.Therefore, I make efforts in this aspect,and plan to follow this way to present a clearer and purer language.Just like buying many ingredients in the market to have a big dinner, and the key depends on your cooking,whether it is unique or not.

　　Cooking and painting well is that I always long for.

作者：张伟